realistic sex dolls

Are Sex Dolls Sex Positive?

realistic sex dolls

“Jeff” decided to turn to sex toys and eventually sex dolls after facing too much frustration in the dating world. Lemm was bullied growing up, causing him to become introverted and rely on imaginary friends as a child and sex dolls as an adult for “human” companionship. Ozaki turned to a sex dolls for intimacy after the spark left his marriage. “Michael” commissioned a sex doll that would take his foot fetish one step further…

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Political fervor and social wars have given sex dolls a bad rap. Add to that Western society’s own prudishness about sex and you have a world of sexual pleasure, intimate contact, and touching companionship that exists almost entirely in the dark. Still, you can find stories of men like the ones above on forums, in online magazines, and even the New York Post and Independent.

lifelike sex dollsAs a Feminist, it is easy for me to look at a perfectly sculpted body and say “Well, that is just creating an idealized object to lust over.” Then I glance at some of the dolls at and see full-figured shapes with ample thighs and buttocks. While silicone still restricts just how much mass can be placed on them, some of these dolls have begun to more resemble my body – full figured from life and child-bearing – rather than lithe, perky models.

It is startling enough to make me admit that yes, I linger over the pictures of these dolls and admire the beauty. The skill that has gone into crafting something so lifelike is amazing and I understand the sentiment of the man who brushes the hair from the face of his doll and the connection that can develop between something synthetic and someone flesh and blood.

Which brings us to the question of the hour – are sex dolls sex positive? Before I delve into that, I want to look at the history of the sex doll.

A Sailor’s Fancy

Now that we have been talking about sex dolls for a little while, if I bring up Airplane! you’re mind is probably going to turn immediately to the inflatable pilot that Elaine has to fellate in order to make the autopilot system functional. For a lot of people, the plastic inflatable is the image of the sex doll. For those familiar with the new, high quality silicone dolls, they may think that the craze began in the seventies with these cheaply made sex toys.

In fact, the sex doll is far older. Known as the dame de voyage, the first sex dolls were collections of cloth put together into roughly human shape to keep 17th Century French sailors entertained (it would have to be the French!). Early 20th Century sex dolls had apparatus that simulated ejaculation (whether for male or female pleasure is unspecified, but probably for either). There were even reports during World War II of German soldiers having the company of sex dolls.

The Modern Sex Doll

silicone sex dollModern Sex Dolls have come a long way from the cloth creations of sailors. Blow up dolls, usually made of durable plastics, have been a staple of sex shops for decades. As our ability to produce fine synthetics have increased, however, so too have the sex dolls.

Today’s high end sex doll is as far removed from inflatables as inflatables are from cloth dolls. Made of silicone or thermoplastic elastomers (TPE) with complex skeletal structures and detailed features, these dolls are expressive. Each is a work of art, an aesthetic independent of their purpose.

Looking at a modern sex dolls, it’s easy to understand why a man would want one. Looking at their soft features, it’s conceivable that one could develop affection over time.
The question still remains, however: can something that literally creates an object of the female form be sex positive?

Sex Positivity

From a Feminist perspective, it’s easy to look at a Sex Doll and say, “this is exploitative of the feminine form.” Everything about a Sex Doll designed for a man to use is focused on him. She pleases his eye for his gaze. The orifices of her body are for his sexual gratification.

Sex Positivity, however, digs a little deeper into sexuality and sexual expression. A Sex Doll is not automatically exploitative just because she’s patterned after a human body. Even one designed look like a person is ethical since the companies that make the dolls require the model’s consent.

Sex Positivity at its core is about Agency. Agency is, simply put, ones capacity and ability to make decisions and act for oneself. When we decide to do an action by our own reasoning, we show the capacity for Agency. When we act on that decision of our own accord, we demonstrate Agency.

The modern Sex Doll is devoid of free will or independent action. While we have begun incorporating A.I. into some models, we are still along way away from a self-determining, self-aware artificial consciousness.
When it comes to sex dolls, the Agency lies with those who purchase and own the dolls. For them, the dolls are a way to achieve sexual expression. Check for more help.

So is the Sex Doll Sex Positive? That’s really up to us. For the men (and women!) that use them, if they feel good about the doll, if they take away something fulfilling from the experience, then it’s a Sex Positive thing.
For the rest of us, it’s a question of attitude and acceptance. If we stop stigmatizing sex dolls and sex toys in general, then we create environment where we can look at these objects with an attitude that does not shame those that use them.

That is Sex Positive.