How To Deal With Negative Dating Experience ─ 10 Effective Steps

Not all love stories have a happy ending. Sometimes, people lie, cheat, and do other things they shouldn’t do in a relationship. They break hearts and steal the joy of being in love.

If you have just ended a bad relationship, you may feel completely disappointed in people and dating in general. But you shouldn’t focus on your negative experience. You can be happy with someone else – you just haven’t met the right person yet.

Need help with moving on? Here are ten tips on how to become excited about dating again.

1. Let Go of the Past

The first step is the most important one. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Does your heart hurt when you think about your broken relationships? Before you start dating again, you should let go of the things that hold you back.

You should move past resentment and heal your broken heart. If you can’t manage to do it alone, get help from your close friend, who can listen to you and give you a piece of advice, or hire a therapist.

The point is that if you don’t heal from your trauma, your new relationships will likely fail. The negativity and the pain you still feel will affect your communication with a new partner. So make sure you are starting a new chapter of your life with a tranquil heart and on a positive note.

2. Change Your Mindset


After breaking up with a toxic partner who was trying to diminish your worth, you may deal with self-doubt and anxiety. It’s another problem you should work on.

Firstly, you should ignore all the bad things your ex has said to you – all those words are not true. Secondly, you should reconnect with your inner self and start practicing self-love. Thirdly, you should tweak your mindset and get open to new experiences and new relationships. Remind yourself that by ending one bad relationship, you get one step closer to finding your true love.

3. Find New Ways to Meet Your Soulmate

Where do you usually meet your dates? Do you meet them at a local bar or on a popular dating app? What if you met the wrong people because you were looking at the wrong places? Think about changing your strategy. Like, try to meet new people at a sports game or gym, or download a new dating app and find your partner there – a small change can make a big difference! Expand your search, and you will be surprised with the outcome.

4. Date Someone Who Is “Not Your Type”

Let’s say you prefer to date athletic guys in their thirties. They are typically 6’3″ tall and have blue eyes. They ride motorbikes and work out six days a week. You have dated five guys that meet this description, but all your relationships didn’t last longer than a couple of months. Haven’t you thought that maybe you are dating the wrong people?

You should reconsider your preferences and ask out someone who is not your type. Try dating another type of guy, and your dating experience will be totally different.

5. Set Your Expectations Low

Don’t expect your next date to be perfect. Period. Stop thinking about someone you barely know as an “ideal partner”. If you do it, you will be greatly disappointed. Why? Because no one is perfect. You and your date both have negative traits and imperfections.

Keep your expectations low. It’s more likely than not that you won’t feel “the immediate spark”. Try to enjoy your first date the way it is. Focus on having a meaningful conversation – get to know the person better before jumping to conclusions.

6. Don’t Try to Impress Your Date


One of the main reasons why you can’t enjoy your first dates is that you try to impress another person and stress about every little thing. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Basically, it’s your date’s job to win YOUR heart and make YOU want to ask them for a second date.

The first date should be an enjoyable experience for both of you. So take a glass of wine and try to relax. Just be yourself and enjoy a good company.

7. Learn a Lesson

Your past dating experience is not something you should get hung up on, it’s something you should learn a lesson from and move on. Let’s say you were dating a guy who was extremely jealous and possessive. You can make a conclusion that this kind of guy is not right for you, and you should never go on a second date with someone who demonstrates controlling and manipulative behavior.

8. Go on a Double Date

If the idea of going on another date scares you, you can ask your friends to help – they will help you overcome this fear. Go on a double date together – your friends will be there for you when you feel awkward and take the lead if needed. Also, they will help you end the date and leave.

9. Buy a New Outfit

Treat yourself to a new outfit once you feel ready to start dating again. Buy new clothes that perfectly fit you – it can be something that makes you look sexy or has a romantic touch. Also, consider getting a new haircut – it’s another great thing to mark a fresh start.

10. Go on Vacation


Do you feel stuck in your life and have no motivation to move on? Go on a trip to a place you have never been to, preferably somewhere abroad. Meet new people, try delicious food, and immerse yourself in a foreign culture. Get distracted from your everyday life and the things that worry you.

Well, traveling will not help you to solve your problems. But it will help you to unwind and look at your problems and past relationships from another angle. It’s exactly what you need to have a fresh start.

Wrapping Up

You deserve to feel love and be loved. So don’t let your negative experience stop you from meeting new people and finding a soulmate. Have the courage to start dating again, and you will eventually get romance back into your life.